Five Things To Do

  • Learn about the large hadron collider. Here, I’ll start you off… it’s in Switzerland and makes people nervous because it could potentially cause the end of the world. Godspeed.
  • Become addicted to TED talks. Technology. Entertainment. Design. Acronyms.
  • Make donut toast: the single greatest usage of $1.50 Coles doughnuts ever envisaged by man.
  • Spend some time (even a few minutes) with somebody over the age of 65 or under the age of 6. They know things.
  • Try a little harder with your petty insults. Rather than calling somebody ‘silly’ or ‘dumb’ which could be seen as ‘childish’ paint a picture for your conversational comrades. Exempli gratia… ‘she’s surfing in Nebraska’ or my personal favourite, ‘his slinky’s kinked’.